What a man wants (5)



The fifth thing a man wants is "Relationship": ‘Be grateful for his desire for friendship that is shoulder to shoulder" (Emerson Eggerich, "Love & Respect").



            The way man and woman build relationship is different.  For example, while the women often share their experiences by talking to each other, the men share their experiences by sharing their activities in order to build their relationship (Eggerich).  However, since we are selfish, we want to build our relationship in our own way.  While the women want to continue to build their relationship by talking to one another, the men want to continue to build their relationship by doing things together.  The couple should lay down their methods of building relationship and try to learn each other’s methods instead of claiming their own methods of relationship and demanding from each other to follow their own methods. 


                For women, it is not easy to understand how to work together, that is, should to shoulder relationship.  For example, when a man watches a soccer game on TV, he wants his wife to just sit next to him.  But she usually sits beside him and tries to talk to him who is watching the soccer game.  From that time on, the husband is forced to give up watching the soccer game with his wife.  Of course, she doesn’t understand why her husband is uncomfortable watching the soccer game with her: ‘I just wanted to talk to my husband as we watch television together in order to build our relationship.’  Since she doesn’t know her husband’s need that is just sitting next to him, she cannot understand why he is uncomfortable when she tries to talk to him.  But the woman must try to understand her husband.  To do so, she should just sit next to her husband’s shoulders, he who is watching TV.  Unless he speaks, she should just sit beside her husband and watch TV together.  The man likes his wife to just sit beside her and quietly watch the soccer game together.   


            The women should know: ‘Men prefer to talk not face to face but shoulder to shoulder’ (Eggerich).  When the man asks his wife, "Just sit beside me," the wife should just sit beside him, shoulder-to-shoulder as she respect his way of having conversation even though it’s not her way of having conversation.  Although it isn’t her intimate conversation method that she wants, she should keep on trying to learn how to have conversation with her husband.  Therefore, she needs to stand in his position and try to build a relationship with her husband by learning his method of building relationship.  The wise wife will do so with patience.